Cries from a Mom

It’s a gray, foggy, overcast morning as I sit in tears reading news accounts of Monday’s devastating tornado that hit Oklahoma.

My children are still comfortably asleep while there is a mom who will never wake her children again on a foggy, overcast morning.

On Monday night I sat at the baseball field with tears in my eyes as I watched my son, who has worked so hard to overcome a batting slump, strike out yet again. My eyes filled with tears as I watched him slowly, with shoulders slumped over & head hung low, drag the bat behind him towards the dugout. I begged God to help him hit the ball, to give him the encouragement he needed, and then when he didn’t hit the ball… I admit, with shame, I was frustrated at God for not answering my prayer.

Oh how bad I feel for being so frustrated! As I sat in my blue camp chair upset because my third grade son was sad because he had struck out again, there was a mom of a third grade boy who was walking around in the rubble of an elementary school crying out to God to save her boy.

A mom who cried out in desperation longing to hear and see her child once again…

A mom who thought when she dropped her son off at school in the morning she would see him again that afternoon…

A mom who desperately wants the opportunity to sit in a blue camp chair beside a baseball field hoping her son will break his batting slump…

As a mom there will be many times I will cry tears of joy and tears of sadness for my son.

But, today, as a mom I cry tears of grief & sorrow for the mom who won’t have the opportunity to wake her son from a night of sleep, or pick her son up from school, or sit in a blue camp chair and watch her son play baseball.

I don’t know why and I struggle to understand why tragedy like this happen. But today I cry and pray, that somewhere in the unbearable pain this mom is feeling, that she will feel God’s strong, loving, caring arms wrap tight around her. I pray that she will know Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and Know that I am God” and in the midst of the questions & whys that “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard (her) heart and mind in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:7.

Thankful Thursday

Do you ever have days when you feel like you have Spiritual ADD? I have had a number of them lately.

God is working in many different areas of my life teaching me lesson after lesson. With each lesson learned I want to write them down and share them with you. But then when I sit down to write, my mind won't slow down enough to focus on one lesson.

I want to dig into a passage in my Bible to hear what God is saying or I want to pull out my Bible Study to see what God has to say next in the study or I want to write down one of the many lessons I learned the day before.

Before I know it I've gotten frustrated and given up on it all.

So today instead of sharing one of the many lessons He is teaching me I'm going to sit...

"Be Still & Know He Is God."

And in that stillness I will Praise Him for Who He Is and how He Blesses me each & everyday.

Counting the Joy Dare #1074 - #1081:

• impromptu lunch with my sister
• answers from the tests
• trusting God one step at a time
• singing with His Voice
• a good night sleep
• praying friends
• watching God use His Spiritual Gifts for His Glory
• prayers from God's Children

Counting thanks today with Ann at A Holy Experience

 

In His Calm,

Mary

Thankful Thursday ~ God's Masterpiece...

“For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.”

Psalm 139:9

My little friends are back. They show up about this time every year & keep me company each morning while I sit having my quiet time. As I sit in the quiet of the morning drinking my coffee, they sit on branches singing their good morning song in the cedar trees just outside my window.

For the next few weeks I will watch them slowly build their nests. They will quietly bring a small piece of yarn, small blade of grass or pine needle and weave it into a nest strong enough and big enough to hold tiny eggs.

As I sit and watch them quietly & slowly work the pieces they find on the ground into a masterpiece of strength & security I am reminded how God works the fragments & pieces of my life into a masterpiece of strength & security with his hands.

I so often want to rush ahead & do things my way. I don’t want to wait on him to take each piece of my life and weave it into the plan that He has for me.

These days I am frustrated & ready to do something … anything to move to the next thing God has for me.

But, instead of jumping full steam ahead, I am taking a deep breath, listening to His Still Small Voice and allowing His Hands to create the foundation of His Plan for my life.

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen wait for the morning,

more than watchmen wait for the morning.”

Psalm 130:5-6

Continuing to Count the Joy Dare #1066 - #1073

·      birds singing outside my window

·      bright morning sunshine

·      prayers being answered even when I don’t take the time to see it

·      getting the kids to school on time

·      God preparing me for changes I once dreaded

·      trusting God to be with a friend

·      trusting God to show me His Path

·      a burning desire to jump out ahead of God but listening to the Still Small Voice of God that says wait on me

In His Calm,

Mary

Tiny Droplets

 "Be Still

and 

Know I AM GOD"

Psalm 46:10

I sit at my desk with an empty screen before me. I know God has something to say, I feel it in my heart but the words don't come.

Distractions come...but not the words...

Why is it that when I'm busy running around I catch glimpses of His Glory and think oh wow I have to write that down, but, when I sit down the words don't come?

I gaze out of the window & pray, "God I know you have something to say but I can't "hear" you. Speak to me. Speak through me."

And then I see it...

It's foggy outside, I see my driveway but the bushes on the other side are shadows. The 3 cypress trees a foot outside my window are very crisp & clear. But beyond that the air is milky white.

My eyes focus on something moving in the air...tiny droplets...almost missed. I have been so focused on the large cypress trees & big picture of the thickness of the cottony white fog that I failed to see the tiny, individual water particles that make up the fog. Those particles are carried along by the direction of a whispery breath of air.

Later today as the air gently moves, and the sun slowly rises, the fog will lift to reveal a beautiful, icy blue sky displaying God's Glorious Creation around us.

Isn't our life like that? 

Life gets hard & days are clouded by the pain, hurt, questions, fear, feelings of inadequacy & frustrations. We only see the hard, difficult things looming directly in front of us like the cypress trees. We want to know what our future holds but its cloudy like the milky white fog.

But God...

He is in the tiniest details of our lives. He works around us, quietly moving like the droplets that are so faint we only catch a glimpse of them-Him or feel them-Him on our faces if we slow down, rest and patiently wait...on Him.

As the trials wear on and our lives heat up God will show is Magnificent Glory when the fog lifts and He reveals the clear blue sky. 

Then we will see the ways in which He has worked all around us. We will see the way He gently moved us with the whisper of His breath and we will see the way he brought us around the obstacles that stood before us.

My prayer for you sweet sisters is that even though you may go through times in your life where you can't see God's path for you or why he has called you down a certain road, you will always know WHO HE IS and that HE IS AT WORK IN YOUR LIFE! So sweet sisters keep your eyes & heart focused on The Cross and God's Truth.

"I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.'

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly

for the salvation of the LORD."

Lamentations 3:24-26

Continuing the Joy Dare #977 - #986:

• the Old Rugged Cross
• "winter" scented candles
• Christmas music playing while I clean
• family time reading in front of a fire
• for the privilege to join God where He is working
• having my husband tell me he is proud of me
• looking back & seeing how God answers prayers
• Godly women standing in the gap with prayer
• for the hard days when the walls are closing in
• for the icy blue sky after the fog lifts

Taking the Joy Dare of counting 1000 gifts with Ann at A Holy Experience 

In His Calm,

Mary

I've been silent for a little while.

I've needed silence.

For so long my world has been crazy busy, running from one place to the next rushing to get it "all" done. To be honest, I don't know how I was able to get everything accomplished ~somehow I managed but not without sacrifice.

The problem is... I was unaware of that sacrifice.  I was unaware that the rushing around to finish my to-do list, the staying up late to finish projects, the giving up myself to minister to my husband & family & friends was taking its toll on me. I've spent hours, days, weeks, months worrying, praying, giving, loving, planning ~ sacrificing.

The sacrificing has been for good, worthy reasons. Every bit of it I would do over again.

I don't regret the years I have spent planning & praying for Just Give Me Jesus with an incredible group of women. ~ I would do it again in a heartbeat!

I don't regret the hours I have spent talking & praying with my husband over some difficult issues at work. ~ Each moment brought us closer together as a couple.

I don't regret running my kids around to their various activities. ~ I love watching them experience something new.

I don't regret meeting up with a friend who needs a shoulder to cry on. ~ When I take time to love on a friend I am sharing God's love with them.

But, in all of that I forgot to minister to myself. I spent time in God's word but, I forgot to slow down & soak in the quiet moments.

It has taken a diagnosis of a health issue that is caused by stress to make me realize I need to slow down.

Rest in the quiet moments.

Rest in the arms of my Lord, my Healer, my Comforter, my Sustainer.

As I have spent time quietly, alone with Him He has revealed His Truth in marvelous ways.

He has revealed His Perfect Peace and His Amazing Glory.

So, while you are busy today running around marking off your to-do list, ministering to friends, caring for children ~ remember to take time for yourself.

Sit. Rest. in the quietness of God.

Be Still and Know He Is God!

In my quiet moments I will continue to pray for God's direction for The Calm of His Presence, in the meantime I will continue to pop in with ways God is working in my life.

How may I pray for you?

In His Calm,

Mary

Control

It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion. Genesis 2:18 


Control. I have control issues. There I said it. I've heard it said that the first step to overcoming a problem is to admit you have a problem. Well, I've admitted it so now what?

Last week I met my breaking point. I showed a part of myself I never wanted to show. An ugly, got to have it my way, uncontrolled, emotional part of me I never knew existed made herself known. And I am beating myself up over it.

This temper tantrum stemmed from the stress and pressure I feel over trying to get everything in order before I have surgery in 2 weeks. When my surgery was scheduled several weeks ago I made a to-do list. At the time I thought I would have no problems getting everything done. Now, I'm not so sure. I want everything to be perfect for Jeff and the kids while I am recovering. 

But, last week while I was wallowing in my self-pity. I realized something. I am terrified of having surgery. I'm trying to act like its no big deal and that I can handle it but I'm scared. I'm not afraid of dieing or anything like that. I'm afraid of being vulnerable and needing someone to do things for me. The nurse in me likes taking care of other people, not being taken care of.

I'm afraid of turning things over to someone else. I'm afraid that when Jeff has to do everything I do plus his responsibilities that he'll be able to do it with no problem & make me look like the big fool who can't juggle the normal activities of life.

As I spent some quiet, calm time with God later that night I remembered my life verse. "Be Still & Know I Am God" Psalm 46:10. Turn my stress & worry over to Him and He will calm my spirit and ease my worry.

As I prayed and turned it all over to God I remembered in Genesis 2:18 where God said, "It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." God gave Eve to Adam to help him. Not only am I here to help Jeff, but he is here to help me. We are companions. We do life together. When Jeff has been ill I have stepped up and taken over more responsibility in the house. Now its time for me to let Jeff take care of me and take over more responsibility in the daily running of the house and family.

• We are not in competition. 
• We both bring needed attributes to our family.
• By taking over my daily tasks Jeff will gain more appreciation for things I do that make things run smoothly around here.

I'd love to hear some ways you and your husband do life together.

In His Calm,

Mary

Windows open. Cool Breezes blowing across my face. Birds chirping & singing a happy song. I sit. Relaxed. I marvel over God's glorious creation & His incredible love for me. Ah...peace...

Then it happens... a loud truck drives by and the high pitched buzzer on my dryer breaks the respite. I am suddenly keenly aware of the construction work in front of my house. My thoughts quickly move from resting in God's presence to the busyness of life.

Oh well, back to my day I must go. But, for a short while I met with God. I am grateful for the Calm of His Presence. I can now go through the rest of my day refreshed & renewed.

How are you taking time to be refreshed & renewed in God's Presence?

In His Calm,

Mary 

Simple Pleasures

Welcome to Marriage Mondays. Today is a little different from normal. Instead of writing my normal marriage post, today I am linking with Rachel Olson from Proverbs 31 Ministries. She is having a Devotional Carnival titled Simple Pleasures. When you have a moment please take some time to visit her blog. You will be blessed! For those of you visiting from Rachel's blog thank you very much for stopping by. My prayer is that God will use today's post to speak to each of you whether you are new or returning.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP... Ugh its 5:30 am already? I stumble out of bed and with blurry eyes walk into the kitchen for my morning jolt of caffeine. I kiss my husband goodbye as he leaves for work and sit down with my coffee. I know I have just a few minutes to read my devotion before the house begins to stir. Soon I will hear the pitter patter of little feet. With those feet will come breakfast to be made and kids to be dressed and readied for school.

As I sit by my window reading I can't help but be distracted by the long list of things to do that day. Then, out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of light. I turn my head and look out the window and see the most amazing view. There before me, God is painting the most incredible masterpiece. Streaks of pink, orange & purple begin to light up the morning sky. Within a few minutes more colors are added. Patches of fluffy white clouds begin to fill the baby blue sky. I sit in amazement as I watch God's Glory unfold before me. I am reminded of Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God..." Yes, He is God! He is The Creator of the earth and the Author of my day!

So often I begin my day rushing through my devotion to check it off my to do list. I rush around trying to do as much as I can before picking the kids up from school. When they return home I rush them through homework so they can begin their afternoon activities. Then I rush to prepare dinner and rush through the nighttime routine so the kids can get into bed. All daylong I rush, rush, rush. By the end of the day I have nothing left for my husband. And I especially have nothing left for God. 

This morning God has used the simple pleasure of a sunrise to remind me to "Be still, and know that I am God..." I can begin this morning basking in the Glory of His masterpiece. Each time I am tempted to rush around I can use the memory of His canvas to slow me down and focus on Him.

I pray that as you begin your day you too will be reminded that God is The Creator of the earth and the Author of your day.

In His Calm,

Mary