Control

It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion. Genesis 2:18 


Control. I have control issues. There I said it. I've heard it said that the first step to overcoming a problem is to admit you have a problem. Well, I've admitted it so now what?

Last week I met my breaking point. I showed a part of myself I never wanted to show. An ugly, got to have it my way, uncontrolled, emotional part of me I never knew existed made herself known. And I am beating myself up over it.

This temper tantrum stemmed from the stress and pressure I feel over trying to get everything in order before I have surgery in 2 weeks. When my surgery was scheduled several weeks ago I made a to-do list. At the time I thought I would have no problems getting everything done. Now, I'm not so sure. I want everything to be perfect for Jeff and the kids while I am recovering. 

But, last week while I was wallowing in my self-pity. I realized something. I am terrified of having surgery. I'm trying to act like its no big deal and that I can handle it but I'm scared. I'm not afraid of dieing or anything like that. I'm afraid of being vulnerable and needing someone to do things for me. The nurse in me likes taking care of other people, not being taken care of.

I'm afraid of turning things over to someone else. I'm afraid that when Jeff has to do everything I do plus his responsibilities that he'll be able to do it with no problem & make me look like the big fool who can't juggle the normal activities of life.

As I spent some quiet, calm time with God later that night I remembered my life verse. "Be Still & Know I Am God" Psalm 46:10. Turn my stress & worry over to Him and He will calm my spirit and ease my worry.

As I prayed and turned it all over to God I remembered in Genesis 2:18 where God said, "It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." God gave Eve to Adam to help him. Not only am I here to help Jeff, but he is here to help me. We are companions. We do life together. When Jeff has been ill I have stepped up and taken over more responsibility in the house. Now its time for me to let Jeff take care of me and take over more responsibility in the daily running of the house and family.

• We are not in competition. 
• We both bring needed attributes to our family.
• By taking over my daily tasks Jeff will gain more appreciation for things I do that make things run smoothly around here.

I'd love to hear some ways you and your husband do life together.

In His Calm,

Mary

Thankful for My Husband

I thank my God every time I remember you. Philippians 1:3

Cool crisp mornings, leaves rustling along the ground, red yellow & orange colors in the trees, pumpkin latte & pumpkin donuts, spice scented candles and apples fresh from the orchard... 

These are the many reasons I love the fall. This time of year I become more aware of things to be thankful for. For some reason this year I have really begun to focus more on how blessed I am. God has given me so much. He has blessed me more than I could have ever imagined. 

My family is one of the biggest ways God has blessed me. Why God chose to give me such an amazing husband and children I will never know. I only hope I never take for granted their unconditional love and support.

The next several weeks I will take time to share with you the many ways God has blessed me. I hope that through this season of Thanksgiving you will see the many ways God has blessed you. I pray that you will find a time to sit quietly in the presence of God and thank Him for all He is has given you.

My Husband

1. I am thankful that Jeff is an amazing cook. I am the one who does the day to day cooking in our house. But, if you want a gourmet meal Jeff is the one to cook it. He can also grill the most amazing hamburger & steak. And is also very famous for his mac & cheese. In our house its known as "Dad's famous mac & cheese".

2. I am thankful that Jeff is very smart. I frequently go to him with all sorts of questions. In fact I just used him as a dictionary to smell gourmet :-). Seriously though Jeff is a wealth of knowledge. He has quite the memory.

3. I am thankful that Jeff is a very talented woodworker. He loves to build things. In our house, where a dinning room table should be, is a large beautiful playhouse he designed and built for Garrett as a Christmas present one year.

4. I am thankful that Jeff is a hands-on Dad. He is very much involved with the kids. Just this past weekend he took Garrett on a Father/son camping trip. And he loves to take Caroline on Daddy/daughter dates. Jeff loves our kids with all his heart. Our kids will never wonder if their daddy loved them because they see it everyday.

5. I am thankful that Jeff loves me unconditionally! I am human and I have many flaws. I mess up from time to time but he doesn't hold it against me. Jeff is a source of strength in our marriage.

6. Most of all I am thankful Jeff is the Spiritual Head of our house. He has a personal walk with God and desires to follow God in the direction for our family. I love that our children can go to him when they have questions about God and His Son, Jesus Christ.


How are you thankful for your husband? I would love for you to share some of the ways you are thankful.


I am linked today to Emily at Chatting at the sky.


In His Calm,

Mary

My Husband's Helper

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man and he brought her to the man." Genesis 2:21-22

Dictionary.com defines helper as "a person or thing that helps or gives assistance, support, etc."

God knew it wasn't good for man to be alone. So, he made woman out of man's flesh. From the very first husband and wife God's plan was for us to work together.

When my husband and I were first married I entered our marriage a very independent person. I loved him very much but I was determined I would not lose sight of myself. In name we were one. In practice we were two. During our first year of marriage I did not rely on my husband the way God intended.

Just after we celebrated our 1st anniversary my husband became very ill. The illness was severe enough that we were not sure he would live to celebrate our 2nd anniversary. At that moment God taught me how we were to lean on each other for support. I learned what it meant to be my husband's helper.


My husband recovered and we have now been married for 12 years. During those months of recovery I worked to support us both in the home and outside of the home. Not only did I offer physical help but I also offered emotional help. I was there when my husband needed someone with whom he could talk, laugh or even vent.

Those months were hard on us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. But, God taught us valuable lessons about helping each other. We learned that neither of us could make it alone. When Jeff needed assistance getting to another part of the house, I was there. When I needed reassurance to know things were going to be ok Jeff gave me the hug I needed.

God taught us what he meant in Genesis 2:18 "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

How is God teaching you to help your spouse? I'd love for you to share your thoughts with us.

In His Calm,

Mary