Inspired by the Obedience of my Husband

My husband … he is a man who passionately says Yes to God and stays committed no matter what.

Over the years I have prayed for Jeff to be a strong spiritual leader for our family. I’ve shared it here on The Calm of His Presence. Those prayers have been answered many times.

Jeff is not afraid to take a stand when God calls him even if it’s an unpopular stand in the world. He knows God has a plan for His life and He is committed to following God’s Word.

Most recently He took a stand on an issue with our son and the travel baseball team he plays for. In the world (especially the travel ball world) it is a very unpopular choice not to put baseball before everything including church.

One of Jeff’s priorities is to raise our kids in a family who follows hard after God and shares His Love and Grace to the world around us in our everyday lives.

By making the choice we did to put God first over playing on Sunday’s, we have felt a bit looked down on by other parent’s on the team. To be honest I found myself trying to figure out a way to do both. I even tried to talk Jeff into trying to help me make it work.

Thankfully Jeff stood firm and explained his decision to our son in away Garrett could understand the need to put God and our family first.

This past week we saw a glimpse of the fruits of our obedience. Another father on the team took the time to thank my husband for his example of how to set priorities that turn our family to Christ.

Through our witness he has begun to reevaluate his priorities. He has realized he has been putting other things before God and through that he and his family have fallen away from God. He has made a renewed commitment to being the spiritual leader for his family.

Through my husband’s obedience I have learned that in a world where God’s priorities are looked down on there are people who watch our actions. We may not know they are watching but when we take the bold step of being radically obedient to God and say yes to Him we speak volumes about our walk with Him.

Our witness and obedience to God may be just what someone needs to be drawn back to Him.

Thank you Lord for a husband who obediently follows your direction for our family. Thank you that He is not concerned with the opinion of the world but that he is concerned with saying yes to you. Lord, give me the strength to continue to obediently follow you in the call you have placed on my life. In Your Name I Pray, Amen.

I am linked to do with the P31 OBS Say Yes to God study where other women are sharing their journey of saying Yes to God.

In His Calm,

Mary

God's plans

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,”

declares the Lord,

“As the heavens are higher than the earth.

So are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8,9

I know I’ve been a bit sporadic in my blogging lately.

Going into the summer I had grand plans of writing every morning here on the blog, fun activities for the kids, lots of reading, lots of cooking & lots of resting. I had goals personally & with my ministry. As much as I wanted to be successful with my goals my prayer was that my life this summer would line up with God’s plans.

As I’ve spent time in His Word each morning I’ve found His plans for my time were not always what I envisioned.

One thing I have found consistent is spending time with my kids & husband. Where I thought I needed to spend time focused on my blog, God said your ministry this summer is with your family.

And boy has that ministry been fun – days spent by the pool, running around on the beach, snuggled on the couch reading with my daughter, throwing the baseball with my son, planning & praying over a new ministry opportunity with my husband. This summer my family & I have built memories & bonds that were built & planned by God.

Memories and bonds built and planned by God exceed our human expectations.

This coming school year will look totally different for my family as we change schools. And while the changes are exciting they hold a bit of nervousness & anxiety. My prayer is that this summer of family time will prepare us for the changes that are to come.

So if I continue to be a bit sporadic with my postings please bear with me. I promise once school starts up I will be here more often.

Please know that although I may not be posting as often, there is still a lot going on behind the scenes of The Calm of His Presence. God is leading me in some wonderful new directions. I can’t wait to tell you more about it in the coming months.

So my sweet bloggy friends, I pray that God is building memories & bonds for you and your family that exceed your expectations.

In His Calm,

Mary

When a daughter's words cut the heart...

“I am leaving my house and will continue my life as an orphan”, -words written by my 6 year old daughter.

As I tried to make sense of the words written in red ink by a little girl who is just learning to read & write she angrily decoded the words on the page.

I sat stunned by the pain my little girl had just caused. Did I really just hear those words? Did my sweet, loving, kind-hearted baby girl just cut my heart with a knife by her words?

My son stood over my shoulder shocked too, waiting for my response.

But how do I respond? Do I express how much she just hurt me or do I remind myself of the truth that she is just a 6-year-old little girl who doesn’t completely understand the full effect of her words?

She was mad. I get that. But I can’t respond the same way she responded by using hurtful words & letting my emotions get the best of me.

So, I calmly told both kids to get their pajamas on & get in bed.

I couldn’t believe our first official day of summer (filled with swimming, laughter & working together) was going to end like this- all because my daughter was mad because she didn’t get a popsicle when she refused to eat her dinner.

By the time I tucked her into bed my daughter had begun to understand the full effects of her words. I hadn’t said a word, I wasn’t stomping around, I was just quiet – my heart was aching & I was weary. I just needed some time to nurse my broken spirit.

During bedtime prayers she cried & told me how sorry she was, and as she cried I comforted her. Because that’s what mommas do, we comfort our kids & tell them we love them even when they say hurtful things to us. Because we know they are just little beings that we are charged with raising.

It is our responsibility to teach them between right & wrong.

It is our responsibility to teach them the right way to respond when they are hurt.

It is our responsibility to teach them that when they make a mistake they can ask for forgiveness & through our forgiveness of them they may catch a glimpse of God’s forgiveness.

My husband came home just after the kids went to bed and as he kissed them goodnight my daughter shared everything with her daddy. I sat quietly in the den nursing my weary soul, trying to speak words of God’s truth to my heart. Trying desperately to push the words of question & frustration out of my head…

·      What’s the point in trying hard to plan a fun, exciting summer for the kids?

·      Does anybody know or really care what I do around here?

·      Why did I give up my career in nursing to stay home & take care of the kids?

words I know that are not true but words I still struggled with.

And then I overheard my husband talking with my children. He answered each of those questions as he talked with our kids. Did he have a direct line to my thoughts?

With each answer to those questions God used Jeff’s words to speak to my weary heart. God reminded me why I stay home to care for the kids. He reminded me why I clean crumbs off the floor again, pick up a toy I’ve stepped on with my bare feet again, wash & fold the 10^th load of laundry for the day, & move over at 3:00 in the morning when my daughter has a bad dream.

I do all these things because that is what God has called me to do.

·      He has called me to love my children.

·      He has called me to raise them in His Truths.

·      He has called me to stay at home & take care of things while my husband is at work.

God has called me to a task that will take years to see the full effects of my work. There will be days of joy & laughter and there will be days of heartbreak & weariness. But, in all the days I will cling to God and give my actions & my words to Him & trust Him to help me raise them in His Ways.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3

So, are you a weary Mom like me? Today I'm linked with other Moms who are traveling the journey of motherhood. I would love for you to visit Hope for the Weary Mom.

Refocus ~ The words I speak to my children...

"May the Words of my Mouth..."

Words hold a lot of power.

With a few words we encourage, build up, inspire & praise. But, with just a few words we also deflate, hurt, anger or tear down.

As I reflect on this portion of Psalm 19:14 my thoughts go to the words I use with my children.

Do I

• speak words that show my love for them
• speak words that show God's love for them
• encourage & praise them regularly?

or Do I

• easily lose my temper with them
• focus on the things they do wrong
• have little patience with them?

"...be Pleasing in Your Sight..."

When I stop to reflect on these questions I realize there are areas I succeed in but, there are also areas I need a lot of work.

My husband & I often joke that I have no task patience but I have a lot of people patience. Unfortunately that isn't the case with my children. I want them to do exactly what I ask/tell them to do immediately. When they don't act immediately I become frustrated.

Problems arise when my words aren't pleasing to God. When I focus on & express my frustrations I hurt my children by showing them impatience. Too often I've watched them exhibit that same kind of behavior with each other, only to have me tell them to be nice & loving to each other.

OUCH! That Hurts!!

When I realize the impact my words & actions have on my children I am forced to examine those words in the eyes of God.

As I start to become frustrated or impatient, instead of showing those feelings I now stop and pray...

"Lord may the words of my mouth be pleasing in your sight. Help me show your love to my children. Help me teach them to show your love to each other."

When I stop, pray & take a deep breath I am Refocused on God instead of on me & my feelings.

When I'm focused on The Cross my words show God's love to my children.

Words of encouragement, words of patience, words of love please God.

What words are you using with your children? Do you speak words that build them up & inspire them, or do you speak words that hurt or deflate them?

Take time today to examine the words you use with your children. Ask God to reveal areas you need to work on in order to please Him.

Dear Lord thank you for your love. Show me words I use with my children that are not pleasing to you. Help me stay focused on you so that my words to my children show your love. Lord may I slow down and speak words that are pleasing in your sight. In Your Name I Pray, Amen.

I'm linked today with

In His Calm,

Mary

The "perfect" mom & wife

Did you see her? I’m sure you did. I know my sister & I did.

She was the one popping up on facebook, pinterest, instagram, & twitter sharing the perfect crafts & goodies she made with her kids over the holidays. She’s the one who had the beautiful Christmas cards out the day after Thanksgiving. And she’s the one who calmly welcomed dozens of people into her perfectly decorated home to celebrate Christmas with made from scratch goodies.

Yep, she’s Super Mom! The wife, mother, sister & friend who manages to have it all together while I’m the one struggling to remember what day it is.

I’m the one who ran out of the house like a crazy woman trying to get to my son’s class Christmas party on time and the one who forgot to send the books with my daughter for her gift exchange at school. I’m the one who made a vow I would have my Christmas cards out just after Thanksgiving this year instead of the end of January like last year. But to no avail…I was still scrambling to get them in the mail before Christmas Eve. And I’m the one who had the mismatched serving pieces and platters from the grocery store mixed with some homemade goodies franticly scurrying around to make sure everything was perfect.

In today’s world of social media it’s easy to compare ourselves to other Moms. We see another woman and think, “Look at her, she has it all together. Her children are dressed beautifully. Her husband comes home to a hot cooked meal on the table every night. She works fulltime and keeps a spotless house. But I can’t manage to get myself showered in the morning.”

On Christmas eve while I was sitting in the middle of my floor at 2:30 in the morning wrapping Christmas gifts – yes I really was wrapping gifts just hours before they were opened – I realized it’s not about being the “perfect” mom I think I am suppose to be.

It’s about being the mom & wife God wants me to be. God knew what He was doing when He placed my husband & me together. He knew what He was doing when He gave me my children.

He knew exactly what my husband needed in a wife and He knew exactly what my children needed in a mom.

I’m not called to be the “perfect” mom & wife shown on facebook, pinterest, instagram & twitter.

I’m called to be the PERFECT mom GOD called me to be!

But what does that mom look like? How do I know who that perfect mom in God’s eye is? When I spend time in God’s word - meditating, studying & praying - I learn how to be the mom & wife God has called me to be.

He shows me what is important for my family. And He shows me what sacrifices need to be made in order for my family to thrive. After all, whether we want to admit it or not, the “perfect” mom we see in social media has to make sacrifices too. We just don’t see those sacrifices.

This year as I “Refocus” on the mom & wife God has called me to be I will set my sights on pleasing God and being the “perfect” mom & wife in His eyes.

Do you struggle with living up to the standards of the “perfect” mom & wife you see in social media, I would love for you join me this year on The Calm of His Presence as we Refocus our hearts towards God.

Dear Lord, Thank you for the gift of a loving husband and children. Thank you that you trust me to love them and minister to them. Help me to stay focused on your call for me in our family. Help me to be the “perfect” wife & mom you have called me to be. In Your Name I Pray, Amen.

In His Calm,

Mary

Thankful Thursday ~

It's Thursday, the middle of November, just a week before Thanksgiving & I haven't posted a Thankful Thursday yet this month. It's not that I haven't been thanking God for all He has done for me, it's just that we have been doing so much I haven't been on the computer much.

My "One Word" for this year is Intentional. And that is just what I have been doing.

I have been intentional with time spent with my family on a wonderful, much needed trip away. 

I have been intentional with my Bible Study and God has proved Himself faithful in speaking to my heart through His Word.

I have been intentional with spending time here at home trying to set the calm, loving atmosphere I so want for my family. 

I still have a long way to go but progress is being made. Thanks to Courtney at Women Living Well I have been reminded what lighting a candle each morning and playing soft music will do to set a stage of calm and relaxation in the house.  


Each morning before I get out of bed I ask God to help me have a calm, loving heart that extends grace to my family.

In this world of constant commotion & chaos I want my home to be a place where my family feels protected, loved & peaceful. 

That feeling of protection, love and peace starts with me.  

My prayer over the last couple of weeks has been that of Psalm 19:14.

"May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,

O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

When I find myself getting frustrated, anxious and in a hurry I asked God to help my words be loving & kind and my thoughts be pure and holy in His sight. That prayer helps bring a peace over my heart and my house.

As we enter the week leading up to Thanksgiving I want my heart and my lips to praise God for the Amazing God that He is! My prayer is that my kids will see a Mom who loves God and praises Him and that they will in turn, speak more words of love and encouragement to each other and praise God for all that He is to them.

Continuing the Joy Dare #925- #950:

• listening to my daughter sing as she colors
• kids running around trick or treating with friends
• having the faith of a mustard seed that God will move a mountain
• impromptu visit to see WWII airplanes
• thankful that there are men & women who will risk their lives to fight for our freedom
• relaxing family trip to reconnect & decompress
• bright orange leaves
• laughter & dinner with special friends
• safe travel
• loving welcome
• kids learning through fun without realizing it
• reading of the Declaration of Independence at the Capital of Colonial Williamsburg on our Nations election day
• God's perspective in the world today
• the gift of wisdom, prayer warriors & friendship from a Godly group of Women
• the gift of down time for my husband to completely heal
• pampering time just for me
• lightly scented candles
• open windows
• soft music filling the home
• God reminding me I have a family & a home to minister to
• lunch with a mentor
• waking up after sleeping through an alarm
• thunder in the night
• rain to refresh the earth
• bare trees
• cold, crisp wind

Taking the Joy Dare of counting 1000 gifts with Ann at A Holy Experience 

In His Calm,

Mary