Guest Post on Come Have a Peace

Have there been times in your marriage when you and your husband just don’t seem to click? When no matter what you do there are misunderstandings, tempers flair, feelings get hurt and walls go up.

Join me today as I guest post on my friend, Julie Sanders' blog Come Have a Peace. 

In His Calm,

Mary

15 Lessons Learned Through This Journey Called Marriage

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On April 25^th 1998 I married the love of my life. During those 15 years we’ve traveled many miles on a journey neither of us could have mapped out for ourselves. There have been joyous mountaintops & dark, deep caverns & everywhere in between but through them all we have grown stronger & deeper in love.

We have leaned on God in the hard times and praised Him in the good times. Through our marriage God has taught me more about myself than I could have imagined. I am forever thankful God placed Jeff in my life.

When I started writing The Calm of His Presence I posted Marriage Monday each week. Over the last year I have moved away from the Marriage Monday post but in honor of our 15^th anniversary I wanted to share with you some of what I have learned during our marriage.

15 Lessons Learned Through This Journey Called Marriage

·      God answers the prayers of a little girl beyond what her heart can ever imagine.

·      Prince Charming does exist.

·      The honeymoon stage will pass & when it does hold on tight to God & each other.

·      When times are hard & tensions are high remember we are not each other’s enemy. We love each other & want what’s best for each other & our marriage.

·      There will be times because of illness or surgery where one person has to give completely while the other takes, remember it’s just a season.

·      Before giving criticism find an encouraging word to share.

·      My husband is my 1^st confidant. If I need to confide in someone other than my husband it must be a female.

·      Remember to say thank you often.

·      Don’t be afraid to admit when I am wrong.

·      Submitting to my husband doesn’t mean that I am weak.

·      Be my husband’s biggest prayer warrior.

·      Enjoy date night at least once a month.

·      Don’t be afraid to ask someone to watch the kids overnight so that we can have a “stolen moment”.

·      Keep communication lines open when it comes to finances.

·      Give Grace…Grace…Grace…!

What have you learned in your marriage? Leave me a comment and share them with us.

My friend Rachel Wojnarowski wrote a wonderful post on 7 ways to praise your husband for 7 days. I thought her tips went perfectly with today's post so I wanted to share it with you. I'd love for you to take a few minutes to stop by her blog & read what she has to say. While your there take some time to look around & give her some comment love & tell her I sent you.

In His Calm,

Mary

Thankful Thursday ~ the gift of prayer

“As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you…” 1 Samuel 13:23a

Flowers, cards, gifts, love notes, chocolates, date night all tell us it’s Valentine’s Day. How do you and your husband celebrate Valentine’s Day, or, do you celebrate Valentines’ Day?

At the very beginning of our relationship my husband & I agreed we wouldn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s not that we don’t celebrate our love for each other b/c we do many times throughout the year. It’s just that when we were poor college kids we didn’t have the money to get caught up in the expense of celebrating Valentine’s Day. Now, 19 years later we are still very aware of the expense that many people put into Valentine’s Day but we choose a different way to celebrate our love for each other.

One of the ways I celebrate my love for my husband is to pray for him. A few years ago as I read through the book The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian I wrote a series on Praying for our Husbands.

Praying for our Husbands - As Spiritual Leader

Praying for our Husbands - His Responsibilities

Praying for our Husbands - Intimacy & Affection

 

When I pray for my husband I give him one of the best gifts I can ever give him. Each day he faces challenges. When I pray for him I help give him the strength he needs to face those challenges.

Do you pray for your husband daily? Would you take some time tonight over dinner or after the kids have gone to bed and ask him how you can pray for him? You will be amazed how much your prayers will mean to him.

As I concluded my series on praying for our husbands my husband Jeff shared what it meant to have me praying for him. You can read his perspective here.

Are you unable to ask your husband how you can pray for him? Stormie Omartian’s book The Power of a Praying Wife is a great resource.

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

·      Thank God for the ways your husband blesses you.

·      Ask God to give him the strength to make the right decisions.

·      Ask God to guard his heart & mind from the temptations he faces everyday.

·      Ask God to strengthen him to follow the path God has laid before him.

·      If he is an unbeliever pray that he will open his heart to God’s Saving Grace.

As you pray for your husband pray also that you will be the Godly wife God has called you to be. Seek His will & direction for your marriage.

Is there a way I can pray for you? I would be honored to pray for you and your marriage. Leave me a message telling me how I can pray for you.

Continuing the Joy Dare #1060 - #1065:

·      Another year celebrating the life of my husband

·      A life that is lived 100% to honor & glorify God

·      A Man after God’s Own Heart

·      A faithful husband

·      A father who loves his children & desires to raise them according to God’s Will

·      A loyal Friend

Taking the Joy Dare of counting 1000 gifts with Ann at A Holy Experience 

In His Calm,

Mary

Marriage Monday Flashback ~ Giving it all to Jesus

 Life has been busy the last few days and I have needed to spend time with my husband & children. As I minister to them I wanted to share with you a post from 2011.

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"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7

Something caught my eye as I was sitting at my computer early one morning. First I saw a quick, small shadow flash out of the corner of my eye. When I looked I didn't see anything so I went back to my reading. Just a few minutes later I saw another flash of a small shadow out of the corner of the same eye. Again, when I looked I saw nothing. Then again a few minutes later I saw the same flash. This time when I turned my head I spied the shadow. It was a small spider not any bigger than the nail on my pinky. It was scurrying around all over the other side of the windowpane next to me. I watched it for a little while and wondered what it was up to. I really have never seen a spider move so quickly and sporadically. I thought at first it was spinning a web but it wasn't. It just appeared to be scurrying around aimlessly.

As I watched the sporadic movements I started thinking about how in our marriages we can sometimes be like that spider. When we have issues in our marriage we sometimes wander aimlessly flitting from one place to another searching for answers never to find them. 

• We look to the world or someone else to fill the void in a loveless marriage.
• We lash out at our husband thinking if we hurt him the hurt he has caused will go away.
• We go on a shopping spree blowing the budget because our husband doesn't see the importance of a budget and we are tired of fighting about it. 

Does this sound like you? Do you feel like that spider? Do you feel like you are running yourself ragged trying to fix the problems in your marriage? Are you tired of trying with all your might to make things right only to fall on your face in frustration or failure?

Oh sweet sister there is a way to stop scurrying around. There is a way to fix the problem. That way is JESUS. Turn it over to HIM. Whatever problem you have in your marriage give it to the One you LOVES you. Our verse today tells us to "present our request to him". You may be to the point where you are at your whits end. Its ok if you cry or scream. You can talk to Jesus however you need to talk to Him. The point is turning it over to Him. He knows what you need and He LOVES you. When you lay it in His Hands completely he WILL give you the peace you need. And He WILL get you through it!

I would love to pray for you. Please leave me a comment and let me know how I can pray for you and your marriage.

Refocus ~ The words I speak to my husband...

Do I speak words to my husband that show my love for him?

Do I speak words to my husband that encourage & life him up?

Do I pray for my husband?

In April Jeff & I will be married for 15 years & together for 19 years. When we first met & dated we were together as much as possible & talked on the phone for hours.

Nineteen years later life has changed a lot. We are not the carefree college kids we once were. We have responsibilities at work, home & church. We have 2 kids & family responsibilities. Many times at the end of the day we fall into bed exhausted without having a chance to really talk.

Do you find yourself in a similar situation? Do you & your husband take time to know what is going on with each other? Do you make it a point to show him your love?

"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one anther..." Hebrews 10:25

When we as a husband and wife Refocus on each other & make a point to sit and talk we gain in many areas.

• We learn ways we can encourage each other.
• We have an opportunity to discuss small issues before they have a chance to mushroom into bigger problems.
• We find out ways we can pray for each other
• Taking time to sit and listen to Jeff shows I am interested in him and is an expression of my love for him.

It is also a time to protect my marriage from

• miscommunication
• hurt feelings
• drifting apart.

It pleases God to see a strong marriage where the husband & wife communicate, encourage each other & support each other.

What specifically can you do this week to Refocus your time & attention on your husband?

Dear Lord, I thank you for my husband. Thank you that you desire for my marriage to be one filled with encouragement and love. Lord I pray that you will help me to slow down and refocus my attention on my husband. Show me specifically what I can do this week to encourage and pray for my husband. In Your Name I Pray.

I am linked today with Melanie at Only A Breath. Visit her blog to see all the wonderful One Word posts.


In His Calm,

Mary