Thankful Thursday - The grace to try again...

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, 

so that Christ's power may rest on me."

2 Corinthians 12:9

I have a confession...

I suffer from Raw Emotions. My friends would be shocked to hear me say that, but its true. I get hurt easily. I love fully and I am fiercely loyal.

My pattern has been to stuff my hurt feelings and emotions to the outside world but with my husband and children I let it go. It's a pattern I learned as a child. I am not proud of it. It's one I lived in growing up and never did I want my children to grow up living the life of fear that I knew.

Knowing how much I didn't want that life for my children, I made a promise to myself and God, before they were born that I would do whatever I had to not to raise them in those conditions. Although I may not come "Unglued" with my kids & husband the way my father came unglued with us, I am still very aware of my tendencies.

I have tried over and over again to break the cycle. But, time after time I would fail.

When I failed I blamed myself, I beat myself up and I told myself I was a horrible mother & wife.

BUT GOD!!!

He loves me enough to forgive me! He loves me enough to heal me! He loves me enough to change me!

Over the last several years He has taken me through a journey of finding His Calming Presence. Each step of the way has provided a joy like no other.

The most recent journey has been through Lysa TerKeurst's book "Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions". I read this book several months ago as part of a focus group prior to its release. Can I just say Thank You God! Unglued has given me the next steps to take in breaking free from my raw emotions.

Over the last several months I have seen a big change. In the past I would do well for a while - fail - and then go back to my same old habits, frustrated that I could never change. But then I read in Chapter One about "The Hope of Imperfect Progress."

Lysa shared this from her journal: 

"Progress. Just make progress. It's okay to have setbacks and the need for do-overs. It's okay to draw a line in the sand and start over again - and again. Just make sure you're moving the line forward. Move forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps that keep you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good."

And you know what...Change has come! And it has been good!

Whenever I do mess up I remind myself of what she shared:

"Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace...imperfect progress."

God gives me the grace to try again - and now, I can stop beating myself up - and give myself the grace to try again. Thank you God for your Calming Grace!

If you would like to find out more about Unglued you can visit Lysa's website or the Unglued book site.

Continuing the Joy Dare #824 - #838:

• great first 2 days in Kindergarten
• holding my tongue & being reminded of Proverbs 10:19 "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."
• keeping my calm in the heat of the moment
• showing my daughter the better way to deal with her emotions
• looking forward to our yearly apple orchard day with great friends
• beginning our Christmas presentation music in choir
• shiny kitchen sink
• school morning devotions
• praying with my children & their friends on the way to school
• staying caught up with laundry for almost 2 weeks!
• no tv in the mornings
• pumpkin lattes, apple cinnamon donuts & the first hints of fall
• exchanging whispers with God before exchanging shouts with the world
• devotions that follow along with what I am trying to teach the kids
• "Train a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

Taking the Joy Dare of counting 1000 gifts with Ann at A Holy Experience 

In His Calm,

Mary