"I am a woman who is deeply troubled...I was pouring out my soul to the Lord...I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief." 1 Samuel 1:15 - 16
Have you ever been in such deep anguish you couldn't function? Did you want to find a corner to sit in all alone so that no one would ever bother you again? Were the words of others adding insult to injury? I imagine that is how Hannah felt in the first chapter of 1 Samuel.
Hannah hurt more than words could explain. She had been ridiculed and "provoked" by her rival Peninnah because she could not have children. Her husband saw her pain and anguish. He even tried to comfort her giving her "double portions because he loved her." But his concern and love couldn't console Hannah.
Hannah knew who could console her. She knew who could ease her pain. "In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD." She laid her anguish, grief & pain at the alter before the Lord. In doing so she trusted in Him to take care of her. She turned first to God because she knew God was the one who could ease her troubled mind. Once she surrendered her pain & anguish to her Lord she felt the Peace of God wash over her. The weight and burden of the grief she bore were lifted off her shoulders and she was able to face life again.
Do you look to your husband to "fix" your problems and ease your worries?
The last 4 days have been exceptionally hard for our family. Last Thursday my daughter began complaining of some vision problems. After my husband and I talked about her complaints we began seeing some other things that had been happening to her in a different way. Our concerns led us to take her to the pediatrician. The pediatrician became concerned over the possibility of an Optic Nerve Tumor. Our world was rocked!
Never could we have imagined the emotions & exhaustion that lay ahead of us. The last 4 days have brought fear, worry & sleepless nights. They have also brought Jeff & I to a place of leaning on each other. When I have been positive I have lifted him. When I have been scared he has encouraged me. But there was never a time when we both felt at complete peace until yesterday.
Sunday morning during the invitation we sang the old traditional Hymn "I Surrender All". As the music played and the congregation sang I felt God telling me "Come to me. Lay it at my feet and I will give you peace. I will carry you." I argued with God "I've already given it to you, Lord. Why do I need to do it again." But the nudging wouldn't go away. With tears in my eyes I leaned over to Jeff and whispered "I've got to go." So hand in hand we walked to the alter and knelt down. Dear sisters, I was a mess. I cried, my mascara ran and my hands shook. But in the middle of all that I laid it at the cross. I surrendered my worry, my fear & my daughter at the cross. And when I stood up I felt a peace I hadn't felt in 4 days. God's love swept over me.
I had tried to rely on my husband. Yes, I had prayed and asked God to help us through this but I hadn't completely & totally surrendered it to Him. When I finally gave it ALL to Him He took it All and carried it for me. Today Caroline had the 2nd of 4 tests that have been ordered for her. Today's test went great. We can now wait for the last 2 tests with peace knowing that God has her in His hands.
Sweet sisters is there something you need to surrender completely to God. I know your husband loves you and wants to help you but turn it over to God. Let Him carry you through whatever you are going through. You and your husband can grow closer together as you watch God do an amazing work in your life.
Linked up today with my friend Julie at Come Have a Peace. Read more on her blog about the 5 second touch challenge...
In His Calm,
Mary
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