"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:5
Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you are all having a wonderful day. I know this may surprise a lot of people but, my husband and I do not celebrate Valentine's Day. We made that decision while we were starving college students the first year we were dating. We had just celebrated Christmas, my birthday was in January and Jeff's birthday was in February. The thought of having to spend more money made us sick. Seventeen years later we still don't celebrate Valentine's Day.
Instead of focusing on one day to shower my husband with love I try to make it a point to frequently show and tell Jeff I love him. I don't ever want my husband to wonder if I love him. There are times we both may mess up and be a little snappy. We may not always do or say the right things. We may get a little selfish and think but, what about what I want. But one things is for sure we have never doubted the love of each other.
I am reminded of God's love for us in Romans 5:5 and John 3:16. God showed us how much he loved us by sending his son, Jesus Christ, to die for us even though we were sinners. Despite the fact that we mess up. We do things to hurt Him and we turn away from Him. He still loves us. He loves us in spite of who we are. How absolutely amazing is that. I am in awe of the love God has for me.
When I think about the love God has for my husband and for me I know there is no way I could ever love Jeff as much as God loves each one of us. But, I want Jeff to know without a shadow of a doubt that I love him with all of my heart. How do I do that? I do that in several ways.
1. I frequently tell him I love him. Before either one of us leaves the house I give him a kiss and hug and tell him I love him.
2. I do little things I know mean a lot to him. Jeff loves coffee. So each morning before he leaves the house I make him a travel mug of coffee.
3. I pray for him daily. In case you missed it my last several posts have been on praying for our husbands.
4. When Jeff gets home from work I stop what I am doing (for example facebook, cleaning, phone-calls) and pay attention to him and ask him about his day.
5. I try to surprise him from time to time with things I know he likes. This weekend I surprised him with an overnight trip out of town for just the 2 of us. It was a wonderful time to reconnect.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of things I do to show Jeff I love him. These are just a few examples. I would love to hear about some of the ways you show your husband you love him. You never know, what you share may give someone else the perfect idea to show her husband how much she loves him.
In His Calm,
Mary
Monday, February 14, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Praying for our Husbands - His Perspective
I am very excited about today's post! And I am equally as excited that you are joining me today. You are in for a treat! For the last several weeks we have been discussing how we should pray for our husbands. I am amazed at what God has taught me through this series. What better way to conclude our study on Praying for our Husbands than to get a husband's perspective. I have asked my husband, Jeff, to share with you what it means to him to have me praying for him.
Greetings, ladies (and perhaps a gentleman or two)! Thank you for allowing me to intrude into the block of time you usually share with my wife through the written word. I’m honored that you’re reading my ramblings, and even more honored that Mary has asked me to make this contribution to her blog. Today’s subject: “What does it mean to me to know that my wife is praying for me?”
In a word, “Everything.” Prayer is intimate communion with our Heavenly Father. The things we choose to include in our prayers generally meet two criteria: 1) they are important to the person praying, and 2) they are important to God. When Mary talks to God about me and on my behalf, it conveys to me how important to her I actually am. It also signifies her recognition that God also cares for me. This process has the effect of enhancing not only her trust in God, but also in me. My wife’s trust in me is something I value more that all the treasures of the earth.
Paul, Silas, and Timothy – in their first letter to the Church in Thessalonica – admonish their audience to “Pray continually… for this is God’s will for you…” Many have incorrectly assumed that this scripture means we should do nothing but pray 24/7. It does not. Rather, it means that we should pray again, and again, and again. The moments we do spend in prayer though are special; they are fractions of that most precious and finite resource: time! Mary does not have all day every day available to spend time in prayer. The fact that she spends a measured portion of that time praying for me tells me that I’m one of her top priorities.
It has been said (and I’m paraphrasing) that when a man knows he has his wife’s support and confidence, there is little or nothing that can shake him. But if he doubts her allegiance, his self-confidence withers to dust. When Mary prays for me, I know she is “in my corner”. I know we are one. All men (if they’re honest) want their wives to be their personal cheerleaders – publically and privately. I am no different. Is there a better cheer or encouragement than to know that my wife goes before the Creator of the universe on my behalf? Not for me there isn’t. Those of us who know God know that only good things come from Him – the best things, in fact. Mary’s praying for me means that she, too, wants only the best for me.
Another positive aspect of Mary’s praying for me (and one that admittedly I’m sometimes reluctant to accept gracefully) is that she offers wisdom in her counsel. As the spiritual leaders of the home, men often like to think that we have all the correct answers. I do bear the burden of accountability for decisions made on behalf of my household, and I could – if I so chose – simply make all of those decisions of my own accord. To do so, though, would be folly because I would be depriving myself of the resources of insight Mary gleans from her conversations with God about such matters. This revelation really should come as no surprise. Proverbs tells us of the Wife of Noble Character that,” She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Absolute truth.
Wives: Pray diligently and earnestly for your husband. Tell him you are praying for him. Ask him if there are any specific concerns on his heart you can take to the Lord in prayer (a GREAT way to foster deeper levels of communication between the two of you). Let not one moment pass when he might be inclined to doubt your love and support.
Husbands: Covet the prayers of your wife. Tell her you appreciate them. Tell God too. Value the counsel you receive as a result of her prayers on your behalf. Take pride in the fact that you are important enough to her that she chooses to spend a portion of her precious time with her Heavenly Father talking to Him about you.
- A Grateful Husband
Keep praying for your husband. You will be amazed at the difference it will make in your relationship with him. I would love to hear how this series has strengthened your marriage.
I am linked today with Julie at Come Have a Peace.
In His Calm,
Mary
Monday, January 31, 2011
Praying for our Husbands - His Responsibilities
Thank you for joining me today for Marriage Monday. I'd love for you to grab a nice warm cup of coffee and sit in the Calm of God's Presence.
During the month of January we have been focusing on Praying for our Husbands. You can catch up here, here and here. I hope the Lord has taught you as much as he has taught me. My eyes have been opened to the different areas my husband needs my prayers. God has used this series to strengthen our marriage in many ways. I pray your marriage has also been strengthened.
"Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, 'Where are you?' He answered, 'I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.' And he said, 'Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?'" Genesis 3:8-11
The Sunday School class of which my husband and I are members has been going through a 6 week study by Kay Arthur, and David & BJ Lawson titled Building a Marriage That Really Works. The last few weeks we have been camped out in Genesis Chapter 3. I say camped out because our class can have lively in-depth discussions. It may take us 6 weeks to get through 1 week in the book. A week or so ago we studied the verses above. As we were talking I noticed something in this passage I have never noticed before.
To take you back a little bit, the serpent deceived Eve and convinced her to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. After Eve ate the fruit she convinced Adam to also eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. As Adam and Eve were walking through the garden they heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden. They became afraid and hid from God. This is where my eyes were opened. When God looked for them he called to the man, "Where are you?". When Adam answered God responded "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"
God went first to Adam. God knew what happened. He knew the serpent deceived Eve. He knew Eve was the first to eat the fruit. And he knew Eve was the one that encouraged Adam to eat the fruit. But, he went to Adam first. He held Adam accountable for Adam and Eve's disobedience. When you read further on you see where the serpent, Eve & Adam were all disciplined for their actions. But what really struck me was that Adam was the first one God held responsible for their actions.
As I thought more about that I realized that my husband is very much like Adam. He is the Spiritual head of our house. Our actions reflect on him as a husband, father and spiritual leader. Not only does he have responsibilities at home but he also has responsibilities at church, work, to his friends and with his extended family. Often times there is stress involved. Sometimes its not just in one area of his life but in several or all aspects of his life.
After looking at these verses from a different viewpoint God has shown me another area of my husbands life I can pray for him. How about you? Does your husband have areas of responsibilities you need to pray about? I would love to hear how you are praying for him. I would also love to pray for you if there is a certain area you need prayer.
Here are a few verses I have found useful to pray for my husband.
"Let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands for us; yes, establish the work of our hands." Psalm 90:17
"As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God." Ecclesiastes 5:19
"My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10.
Don't forget to come back next week to read what Jeff has to say about the power of a praying wife.
In His Calm,
Mary
Monday, January 24, 2011
How are you praying for your husband?
I am a bit under-the-weather and don't have it in me to write a post this week so I thought I would share a video with you. I love this song by Sanctus Real. Our husbands want to be the Spiritual Leader in our house. I would love to hear how you are praying for your husband to be the Spiritual Leader in your house.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Praying for our Husbands - As Spiritual Leader
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Psalm 51:10
Welcome back to Marriage Monday and our series on Praying for our Husbands. I have so enjoyed all that I have learned as I have read Stormie Omartian's book The Power of a Praying Wife. If you've missed the last two weeks you can catch up here and here. We have been discussing how we can pray for our husbands.
Do you pray for your husband's spiritual walk? Do you pray that he will be guided by the Holy Spirit? Do you pray for him to seek God's guidance and leadership in his job, family life and church?
I have 2 friends who, this past week, have leaned on their husbands to make some tough decisions spiritually for their families. Both of these ladies shared with me that they had definite opinions on the subjects before them but, they were looking to their husbands to be the spiritual leader in their house and were going to defer to their decision.
As spiritual leaders in our families our husbands have a tremendous amount of burden on their shoulders. We as wives need to daily lift our husbands in prayer. We need to pray that our husbands will seek God's direction for their lives and for our families lives. In Matthew 7:13, 14 Jesus says "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, only a few find it." Our husbands may sometimes be called on to make difficult, unpopular decisions. We need to support them with our prayers and words of encouragement.
My prayer for my husband is that he will delight in the law of the Lord, and on his law he will meditate day and night (Psalm 1:2). When he is in God's word and surrounded by godly counsel it will help him to see God's direction for our lives.
I love that my husband takes his roll as spiritual leader of our family with the utmost respect. When I see him actively seeking God's direction for our family I am excited to follow his leading. I love that my children are growing up in a family where they can see a wonderful example of what a spiritual leader looks like.
I pray that through this series God is showing you how you can pray for your husband. I have listed a few more verses that I pray for my husband.
"Walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with long-suffering, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:1,2
"My eyes shall be on the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me; he who walks in a perfect way, he shall serve me." Psalm 101:6
In His Calm,
Mary
I am linked today with Julie at Come Have a Peace.
Welcome back to Marriage Monday and our series on Praying for our Husbands. I have so enjoyed all that I have learned as I have read Stormie Omartian's book The Power of a Praying Wife. If you've missed the last two weeks you can catch up here and here. We have been discussing how we can pray for our husbands.
Do you pray for your husband's spiritual walk? Do you pray that he will be guided by the Holy Spirit? Do you pray for him to seek God's guidance and leadership in his job, family life and church?
I have 2 friends who, this past week, have leaned on their husbands to make some tough decisions spiritually for their families. Both of these ladies shared with me that they had definite opinions on the subjects before them but, they were looking to their husbands to be the spiritual leader in their house and were going to defer to their decision.
As spiritual leaders in our families our husbands have a tremendous amount of burden on their shoulders. We as wives need to daily lift our husbands in prayer. We need to pray that our husbands will seek God's direction for their lives and for our families lives. In Matthew 7:13, 14 Jesus says "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, only a few find it." Our husbands may sometimes be called on to make difficult, unpopular decisions. We need to support them with our prayers and words of encouragement.
My prayer for my husband is that he will delight in the law of the Lord, and on his law he will meditate day and night (Psalm 1:2). When he is in God's word and surrounded by godly counsel it will help him to see God's direction for our lives.
I love that my husband takes his roll as spiritual leader of our family with the utmost respect. When I see him actively seeking God's direction for our family I am excited to follow his leading. I love that my children are growing up in a family where they can see a wonderful example of what a spiritual leader looks like.
I pray that through this series God is showing you how you can pray for your husband. I have listed a few more verses that I pray for my husband.
"Walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with long-suffering, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:1,2
"My eyes shall be on the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me; he who walks in a perfect way, he shall serve me." Psalm 101:6
In His Calm,
Mary
I am linked today with Julie at Come Have a Peace.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Praying for our Husbands - Intimacy & Affection
"Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:3
Ugh, are you kidding me? Does he really want to be intimate tonight? I'm tired, I'm in sensory overload, I haven't had a moment's rest all day and somebody wants something else from me! All I want to do is curl up into a ball and go to sleep. Does that sound familiar? How many times have you had thoughts like that as you are heading to bed and your husbands lets you know he wants to be intimate?
Is there an area of your marriage that you consider off limits to discuss with anyone other than your husband? Is there a subject that you consider off limits even to your husband? What about discussing it with God. Do you take it to Him?
This week that area has been at the forefront of my discussions with God & my husband. Now it seems God is leading me to discuss it with you. Wow Lord, do you have to push me all at once? The subject of intimacy and affection is not something I like to talk much about. But, God has really opened my eyes in this area this week.
When I read in Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Wife the chapters "His Sexuality" and "His Affection" I thought: "Good chapters. I'm sure I will need to pay more attention to them at some point - just not now." However, God had something he wanted to teach me this week in those areas.
Earlier this week I had a moment similar to the one I described above. I was exhausted, felt drained and just wanted to go to bed. My husband had other plans. As I was bemoaning that fact to myself. I thought about some statements Stormie made in her book. "If your attitude about having sex comes down to only what you need or what you don't want, then you don't have God's perspective. He says our body is to be used to comfort and complete the other person." At that point I prayed and asked God to show me how to comfort my husband. I asked Him to take away my selfishness and be open to giving my husband what he needed.
When I took the focus off myself I realized my husband needed me to be there for him. He had a hard week emotionally. He needed to feel loved and cared for. When men connect physically with their wives they feel loved, accepted and secure in their marriage. Women need hugging, kissing and acts of affection to feel loved. So often I give all day and have nothing left for my husband. I realized that he works hard and is just as tired at the end of the long day. But, he loves me and wants to connect with me.
Something else I realized was that my husband finds me attractive. He loves me and wants to connect with me. So often I struggle with not feeling pretty enough for him. But, he is showing me affection and telling me I'm beautiful and that he finds me desirable. Not some other women, but me! That realization made a great impact on my self-confidence.
This week as I prayed for my husband's sexuality and affection God opened doors of discussion that helped us both gain some new insights into what the other person needs. My prayer is that as you pray for your husband your marriage will also be strengthened.
I want to share with you a few other verses that spoke to me this week.
In His Calm,
Mary
I am linked today with Julie at Come Have a Peace.
Ugh, are you kidding me? Does he really want to be intimate tonight? I'm tired, I'm in sensory overload, I haven't had a moment's rest all day and somebody wants something else from me! All I want to do is curl up into a ball and go to sleep. Does that sound familiar? How many times have you had thoughts like that as you are heading to bed and your husbands lets you know he wants to be intimate?
Is there an area of your marriage that you consider off limits to discuss with anyone other than your husband? Is there a subject that you consider off limits even to your husband? What about discussing it with God. Do you take it to Him?
This week that area has been at the forefront of my discussions with God & my husband. Now it seems God is leading me to discuss it with you. Wow Lord, do you have to push me all at once? The subject of intimacy and affection is not something I like to talk much about. But, God has really opened my eyes in this area this week.
When I read in Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Wife the chapters "His Sexuality" and "His Affection" I thought: "Good chapters. I'm sure I will need to pay more attention to them at some point - just not now." However, God had something he wanted to teach me this week in those areas.
Earlier this week I had a moment similar to the one I described above. I was exhausted, felt drained and just wanted to go to bed. My husband had other plans. As I was bemoaning that fact to myself. I thought about some statements Stormie made in her book. "If your attitude about having sex comes down to only what you need or what you don't want, then you don't have God's perspective. He says our body is to be used to comfort and complete the other person." At that point I prayed and asked God to show me how to comfort my husband. I asked Him to take away my selfishness and be open to giving my husband what he needed.
When I took the focus off myself I realized my husband needed me to be there for him. He had a hard week emotionally. He needed to feel loved and cared for. When men connect physically with their wives they feel loved, accepted and secure in their marriage. Women need hugging, kissing and acts of affection to feel loved. So often I give all day and have nothing left for my husband. I realized that he works hard and is just as tired at the end of the long day. But, he loves me and wants to connect with me.
Something else I realized was that my husband finds me attractive. He loves me and wants to connect with me. So often I struggle with not feeling pretty enough for him. But, he is showing me affection and telling me I'm beautiful and that he finds me desirable. Not some other women, but me! That realization made a great impact on my self-confidence.
This week as I prayed for my husband's sexuality and affection God opened doors of discussion that helped us both gain some new insights into what the other person needs. My prayer is that as you pray for your husband your marriage will also be strengthened.
I want to share with you a few other verses that spoke to me this week.
Proverbs 5:15-19 (New International Version, ©2010)
15 Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
Ephesians 5:28-29 (English Standard Version)
28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
In His Calm,
Mary
I am linked today with Julie at Come Have a Peace.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Praying for our Husbands
"I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call on Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
The new year brings with it time to reflect over the last year and also time to think about what lies in store for the next year. As I thought about 2010 I remembered the many ways God has touched me and the many ways he has asked me to serve Him. One thing that came to my mind was how God called me to my knees in prayer. This past year I began praying with a group of women to bring revival to our area. I also began leading the Prayer Team for the Women's Ministry at my church. At different times I have felt led to pray for family members, friends and our country.
As I thought about all of that a book I read many years ago came to my mind. About 11 years ago I read a book by Stormie Omartian call The Power of a Praying Wife. There have been many times throughout my almost 13 year marriage to my husband where I have spent countless hours praying for him. I have prayed him through grad school, work, meetings, and through a long stretch of illness with both of his parents. It would be easy for me to pat myself on the back and say "well done, you are a good wife". But, the problem is I haven't consistently been praying for my husband like I should this past year. Now I have certainly prayed him through short term crisis when they have arisen. But I haven't been daily on my knees praying for specific areas.
This past week I went to a local bookstore and purchased a new copy of The Power of a Praying Wife. I have started reading it again. If you have never read it I highly suggest it. Each Monday I will write about what I have learned and how God wants me to pray for my Husband. There are 30 areas she discusses. Because there are so many and I only post on Mondays I will not be able to talk about each one. I would love for you to get the book and join the conversation. I know we could all learn a lot from each other.
I want to share with you the first paragraph in her book.
The new year brings with it time to reflect over the last year and also time to think about what lies in store for the next year. As I thought about 2010 I remembered the many ways God has touched me and the many ways he has asked me to serve Him. One thing that came to my mind was how God called me to my knees in prayer. This past year I began praying with a group of women to bring revival to our area. I also began leading the Prayer Team for the Women's Ministry at my church. At different times I have felt led to pray for family members, friends and our country.
As I thought about all of that a book I read many years ago came to my mind. About 11 years ago I read a book by Stormie Omartian call The Power of a Praying Wife. There have been many times throughout my almost 13 year marriage to my husband where I have spent countless hours praying for him. I have prayed him through grad school, work, meetings, and through a long stretch of illness with both of his parents. It would be easy for me to pat myself on the back and say "well done, you are a good wife". But, the problem is I haven't consistently been praying for my husband like I should this past year. Now I have certainly prayed him through short term crisis when they have arisen. But I haven't been daily on my knees praying for specific areas.
This past week I went to a local bookstore and purchased a new copy of The Power of a Praying Wife. I have started reading it again. If you have never read it I highly suggest it. Each Monday I will write about what I have learned and how God wants me to pray for my Husband. There are 30 areas she discusses. Because there are so many and I only post on Mondays I will not be able to talk about each one. I would love for you to get the book and join the conversation. I know we could all learn a lot from each other.
I want to share with you the first paragraph in her book.
"First of all, let me make it perfectly clear that the power of a praying wife is not a means of gaining control over your husband, so don't get your hopes up! In fact it is quite the opposite. It's laying down all claim to power in and of yourself, and relying on God's power to transform you, your husband, your circumstances, and your marriage. This power is not given to wield like a weapon in order to beat back an unruly beast. It's a gentle tool of restoration appropriated through the powers of a wife who longs to do right more than be right, and to give life more than get even. It's a way to invite God's power into your husband's life for his greatest blessing, which is ultimately yours, too."
I am linked today with Julie at Come Have a Peace she is discussing how we can get our husbands to pray with us.
As I pray for my husband I will also pray for you and your marriage. Please let me know if there is any specific way I can pray for you. I look forward to the ways God is going to teach us to pray for our husbands.
As I pray for my husband I will also pray for you and your marriage. Please let me know if there is any specific way I can pray for you. I look forward to the ways God is going to teach us to pray for our husbands.
In His Calm,
Mary
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
