Ugh, are you kidding me? Does he really want to be intimate tonight? I'm tired, I'm in sensory overload, I haven't had a moment's rest all day and somebody wants something else from me! All I want to do is curl up into a ball and go to sleep. Does that sound familiar? How many times have you had thoughts like that as you are heading to bed and your husbands lets you know he wants to be intimate?
Is there an area of your marriage that you consider off limits to discuss with anyone other than your husband? Is there a subject that you consider off limits even to your husband? What about discussing it with God. Do you take it to Him?
This week that area has been at the forefront of my discussions with God & my husband. Now it seems God is leading me to discuss it with you. Wow Lord, do you have to push me all at once? The subject of intimacy and affection is not something I like to talk much about. But, God has really opened my eyes in this area this week.
When I read in Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Wife the chapters "His Sexuality" and "His Affection" I thought: "Good chapters. I'm sure I will need to pay more attention to them at some point - just not now." However, God had something he wanted to teach me this week in those areas.
Earlier this week I had a moment similar to the one I described above. I was exhausted, felt drained and just wanted to go to bed. My husband had other plans. As I was bemoaning that fact to myself. I thought about some statements Stormie made in her book. "If your attitude about having sex comes down to only what you need or what you don't want, then you don't have God's perspective. He says our body is to be used to comfort and complete the other person." At that point I prayed and asked God to show me how to comfort my husband. I asked Him to take away my selfishness and be open to giving my husband what he needed.
When I took the focus off myself I realized my husband needed me to be there for him. He had a hard week emotionally. He needed to feel loved and cared for. When men connect physically with their wives they feel loved, accepted and secure in their marriage. Women need hugging, kissing and acts of affection to feel loved. So often I give all day and have nothing left for my husband. I realized that he works hard and is just as tired at the end of the long day. But, he loves me and wants to connect with me.
Something else I realized was that my husband finds me attractive. He loves me and wants to connect with me. So often I struggle with not feeling pretty enough for him. But, he is showing me affection and telling me I'm beautiful and that he finds me desirable. Not some other women, but me! That realization made a great impact on my self-confidence.
This week as I prayed for my husband's sexuality and affection God opened doors of discussion that helped us both gain some new insights into what the other person needs. My prayer is that as you pray for your husband your marriage will also be strengthened.
I want to share with you a few other verses that spoke to me this week.
Proverbs 5:15-19 (New International Version, ©2010)
15 Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
Ephesians 5:28-29 (English Standard Version)
28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
In His Calm,
Mary
I am linked today with Julie at Come Have a Peace.
