Who Can Satisfy?

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
   that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Psalm 90:14

Last week I shared with you part of my experiences growing up. This week I want to share with you the unfailing love of our Heavenly Father. 

When my earthly father went into the hospital we experienced a peace we had not felt in a long time. As a 7 year old little girl I thought the worst possible thing that could happen was for my parents to divorce. As a 17 year old girl I realized my Mom had done everything she could. I assured her that my brother & sister & I would support her in whatever decision she made. We all knew things had to change. We also knew God was going to take care of us and that we would be ok. 

Not long after my parents separated I was driving home from school with my brother & sister. I was stressed. I was worried. And I was scared. I knew we would be losing our home and many other things. As I came over the crest of a hill my eyes rested on a beautiful gift from God. A beautiful rainbow filled the sky in front of me. I knew it was a promise from God! I knew He was telling me "Trust me, I will take care of you"! From that moment I knew God was going to bring beauty from the ashes of a family falling apart. 

After seeing what my Mom went through and the pain our family had experienced, it was many years before I was able to open my heart enough to trust someone. My fear was that I was going to end up in the same situation. I prayed many, many times for the husband I would someday marry.

• I prayed he would love God more than me.
• I prayed God would prepare him specifically for me.
• I prayed we would have a relationship that was centered on Christ.

The Lord has been faithful to that promise! He gave me a husband who loves me unconditionally. He loves me baggage and all! At the very beginning of our relationship Jeff & I made a commitment to each other that we were going to break the cycle of poor communication and hurt. It's not easy but, it is certainly worth the hard work. Our family is strong and filled with love.

Yesterday both of our children were Baptized. Oh what joy filled my heart and tears that filled my eyes as I watched my 6 year old son & 4 year old daughter publicly profess their faith in Jesus. After the baptism the congregation sang "Who Can Satisfy My Soul". As I stood their singing praises to my Heavenly Father the words deeply touched my soul. I was reminded that Jesus is the only one who can satisfy my soul! He is forever faithful and true!

Take a few minutes and listen to this song. I pray it touches your soul. Praying for you and your marriages my friends!

I am linked today with Julie at Come Have a Peace. Take a look and see what she says about being Fit4Faith.
 
In His Calm,

Mary 

Deep breath in... slowly breath out... 

I close my eyes and I am a 7 year old frightened little girl. I sit crying on the end of my bed, shaking and wringing my hands. I look up as my Mom enters my room. She sits down next too me and gives me a big hug. She gently pulls away and asks me what's wrong. "How do I ask her?... I don't want to know... but I have to know," I think to myself. With a little more prodding from her I build up the nerve to speak out loud what my little heart feared the most. "Mom", I stutter, "are you and Daddy getting a divorce?" I burst into tears again, unable to control the emotions any longer. "Please don't leave Daddy. Please don't get a divorce" I cried. My Mom squeezes me tight and holds onto me with all her might. I hear her whisper, "No honey, we're not getting a divorce." 

That evening my Mom decided to put aside her needs and focus on trying to save her marriage and build a happy home for her children. She prayed and did her best to shield us from what was going on between them. I wish I could say things were happy and good but they weren't. 

Oh, it wasn't for lack of putting up a good front. People really did believe we were one big happy family. We were active in church and in the community. But, behind closed doors things weren't what they seemed. 

My father was an alcoholic. There were many nights I lay in bed listening to him yell and scream at my Mom downstairs. My Mom did everything she could to help him. When she finally talked him into going to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting we thought everything would change. Despite the fact that he was sober the situation became worse over the years.

As my brother and sister and I grew up the anger turned towards us. The lying and the infidelity continued. The emotional outbursts from my father and our fear grew until we could no longer take it. 

By the grace of God my father became ill and ended up in the hospital. With that hospitalization came an opening in the dark storm we found ourselves in. While he was in the hospital we experienced a peace we had not known for a very long time. We knew we could not go back to the way life had been.


To be continued...


Join me next Monday to find out how the fear of a 7 year old girl was replaced by the strength of a 17 year old girl.


In His Calm,

Mary

What If We Were Real

"What If We Were Real"... 

That is the title of Mandisa's new album slated to be released in a few weeks. Last night I had a blast at Girl's Night Out with Anita Renfroe and Mandisa. I laughed. I sang. And this Baptist girl even did a little dancing :). During the concert Mandisa shared a bit about her song What If We Were Real. One of the points she made was, What would happen if we as Christians were upfront about our struggles instead of putting on a happy face and not letting people know the hardships we go through. How many lives would we impact for Christ by being vulnerable. 

I haven't been able to stop thinking about those comments. I am the type of person who tries my best to be positive. Even if I am going through something difficult I try to focus on the wonderful blessings God has given me. I have been thinking lately about how much of my past and struggles I should share with you. Some of the thoughts I have mulled over are

• would it really make a difference to anyone
• what if it comes across as being too negative or whining
• would people really care
• would I hurt anyone close to me by sharing about life growing up.

 I realized last night that I need to take that step. I shared last week that it breaks my heart to hear of a marriage that has fallen apart. But many of you may not know why it breaks my heart the way it does, so for the next couple of weeks I will share a little bit about my life growing up. My prayer is that someone may read what I share and realize with God's help cycles can be broken and strong marriages can be built.

I know I usually only post on Monday's but please join me again tomorrow morning to read about the heartbreak of a 7 year old little girl and the love of a Godly Mom.

I am linked today with Julie at Come Have a Peace for Marriage Mondays.

In His Calm,

Mary