Relief because there are times when I come Unglued with God. And when I say I come unglued with God I mean full blown sobbing, fist pounding, voice raising unglued moments. Its not pretty and definitely a time when its just me and God because if there were any witnesses I'd have some explaining to do.
I don't come unglued with God often. There have only been a few times in my life but one thing I have learned from those moments is they are filled with God's Loving Grace.
One such Grace-moment happened about 6 years ago.
It was a quiet night... nearly midnight as I sat in the middle of my bed...alone. I was 26 weeks pregnant with my daughter, my 18 month old son slept soundly in his bed and my husband sat at the bedside of his Mom, in another city, as she fought for her life while his father fought for his life in a hospital in another city.
Life had absolutely blown apart in the matter of a week.
We went from celebrating our anniversary with a weekend alone & my in-laws watching our son to my father-in-law, who had dementia, having a massive heart attack and the night before his open heart surgery my mother-in-law having a massive brain aneurysm rupture. To say our world had been turned upside down was an understatement.
We didn't know from one day to the next if one or both of them would live or die. The stress of traveling between 3 different cities throughout the state, trying to make some since of their household affairs, and taking care of our kids and home was exhausting. I was in the deepest despair I had ever experienced.
In the dark, quiet, lonely hours of the night I came unglued with God. I sobbed. I questioned. I banged my fists. I begged God to take this pain and stress from us.
And God, in His Infinite Grace let me come unglued with Him. He let me release my pain, sorrow, fear & doubt to Him.
As I was gut wrenchingly honest with Him He slowly calmed me down. While I lay on the bed in the dark of the night with only the sound of the fan whirring above me I felt His Calming Peace wash over me like the peace of a river. I felt His arms wrap around me holding me close to Him. And I felt Him whisper to my soul "Be Still & Know I AM God".
Oh how grateful I am for that unglued moment! For in that Grace-filled moment I found a calming peace with God I had never felt before.
When we allow ourselves to breakdown and become totally, gut wrenchingly honest with God we allow Him to take our pain, our sorrow, our fear & our doubts and turn them into a beautiful tapestry of life.
Thank you Lysa and thank you Melissa & your team for leading us through Unglued. It has been a journey of Imperfect Progress and it has been good!
I'm linking today with Melissa Taylor's Online Bible Study of Unglued by Lysa TerKuerst.
In His Calm,
Mary
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