Without Words

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 1 Peter 3: 1-5

I am linked today with my friend Julie at Come Have a Peace. In today's Marriage Monday she shares how having friends can help our marriage. Why not go over and visit with her. While you are there take time to let her know you are visiting from The Calm of His Presence.

This weekend I went to the Extraordinary Women Conference. I loved worshiping my Lord with two of my very best "Sista" friends. Candace Cameron Bure (yes DJ Tanner from Full House) was one of the speakers. Today's key passage is a verse she shared during her session. Candace shared how, as her relationship with God started to take on new life, she was so excited she could barely stand it. She began telling her husband everything she was learning and how he could "be better". It wasn't long before he told her he was glad she was happy but, he didn't want to hear anything about. When he was ready to talk about it he would let her know. Without realizing it the excitement she thought she was expressing was viewed by him as nagging. 

That really struck a chord with me. I began examining my own life. I had to ask myself some hard questions.

• When God teaches me something new do I look to change Jeff under the guise of sharing what I have learned?
• Do I bombard Jeff with what he should learn based on what God has taught me?
• Am I obnoxious with my new found knowledge?

In 1 Peter we read "they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." The Message says my husband "will be captivated by your life of holy beauty". Wow, I want to live a life of holy beauty. I want Jeff to see me as a gentle and quiet spirit. But how do I do that? How do I minister to Jeff? How do I show him what God has taught me?

• Begin with prayer. Ask God to show me what I need to do to live a life of purity and reverence to Jeff.
• Hold my tongue. If I see an area where Jeff could improve, wait before I say something. Ask God to help me teach by example.
• Be kind & loving to Jeff. Verse 6 says  "Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as "my dear husband." You'll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated."

Candace shared that after 2 years of being quiet and leading a life of purity and reverence she began seeing changes in her husband. When he was ready he went to her and shared the new relationship he had with Christ. He was baptized and even though she had been baptized as a child she marked this renewed relationship with Christ by being baptized again. Only this time since her husband was now the spiritual leader in their home he was honored to baptize her.
 
I am blessed that my husband has a strong personal relationship with Christ. But, I know some of you who may be struggling because your husband either does not know Christ as his personal Lord and Savior or he does not have a close walk with Christ. My prayer is that your husband will see your life of "purity and reverence" through your "gentle and quiet spirit". Please let me know if there is any specific way I can pray for you.

In His Calm,

Mary