This quote makes me stop. Take a deep breath. And
think.
Really? Does He really look past all my fears &
failures to who He wants me to be?
Does He really have a plan for me?
Does He really see how He can turn my weaknesses, my
doubts, and my failures into something beautiful for Him?
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future. Jeremiah 29:11
If I believe His Word is true, which I do! Then I have
to trust that He does have a plan for my future and that there is Hope that I
can become more than what I see as my current fears & failures.
I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13
This weekend I struggled with something God wanted me
to do. I DID NOT want to do it & I told him so. The problem is I was being
DISOBEDIENT.
That disobedience was coming out of my fear of
confrontation & fear of failure, but nonetheless I was being disobedient.
Over the course of the weekend God shared with me
through a webcast, a sermon, & Renee's book A Confident Heart that God did not give me a
spirit of fear & timidity but that I can do all things through Christ who
strengthens me.
Earlier this week I faced my fear of confrontation. I was a
nervous wreck but as I prepared for the difficult discussion that was to come I
prayed for God to give me the strength I needed to overcome my fears. I prayed
He would help me see the strong woman He knew I could be.
And you know what? He did! He gave me the strength to
face my fear!
The difficult situation may not change but that is ok.
What did change was my confidence in Christ. Through my obedience I learned to
trust Him to help me overcome my fear of confrontation.
And through my obedience I took one more step closer to
becoming the woman God knows I can be.
But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.
Psalm 71:14
Throughout the course of 2012 as I counted 1000 Gifts, over & over again I was reminded of God's Faithfulness, His Love, His Strength & His Glory.
He blesses me each & everyday in the breath of a moment, the laughter of a child, the pain of the hard times & tears of heartache. He blesses me in the good, the bad & the in between.
This Sunday I was reminded all over again how even when I am hurting, sad, lonely, or fearful if I REFOCUS my attention on Him & Praise Him for Who He Is and for what He Has Done, He will give me the Strength I need. Praising Him lifts my eyes, my feelings, my heart & my soul!
I walked into church with a crushed spirit. I was hurt, sad & anxious, all over a comment from one person. A comment in which that person had no idea those few words would bring back feelings I thought I had long ago dealt with.
Walking into the choir loft I wanted to crawl into a dark corner and hide. Praising God was no where on the top of my mind.
But then the music began...
Thou Oh Lord
I had to force myself to sing the notes but as the words came from my mouth they began to reach deep into my soul. A little tug...a reminder that my Lord is "a shield for me. My glory and the lifter of my head." Oh how I felt the words as "I cried unto the Lord with my voice". I remembered the nights I cried and I remembered how He lifted my head in the darkest days. He is "my shield, my glory and the lifter of my head"! My hand was clinched tight in a fist as I sang... not ready to totally let go of the pain that had surfaced from deep within.
Today is the Day
This is the day God has made! I WILL REJOICE and be Glad in it!
Oh but how do I rejoice when I hurt and fear?
And then we sang "What have I to dread what have I to fear leaning on the everlasting arms?" His arms are strong enough to carry my burdens! His arms are strong enough to carry me. And His arms are strong enough to comfort my fears.
I may not know what tomorrow holds but I know who holds tomorrow!God holds my future and the future of my husband and the future of my children in HIS hands! And because of that I Will Rejoice because this is the day the LORD has made!
Great is Thy Faithfulness
And then He quietly reminded me of His Faithfulness.
I stood there with eyes closed, heart lightening, and hands opening, feeling His Peace and His Presence as He was ready to guide me - Guide me out of the fear & hurt that had resurfaced and guide me into each new moment that He has planned for me.
Who Can Satisfy My Soul Like You
As my hands opened and my heart lightened I asked Him to "cleanse me and refresh me" as I trusted Him as my fountain and my king.
With one hand lifted high and one hand across my chest I praised Him for He is my "Victorious Warrior...my Rock...and my shelter...who Reigns upon the Throne."
Total Praise
I stood there Praising God with a heart & mind Refocused on God giving Him the Total Praise He was due - Total Praise for the good, the bad & the in between. For He is "the source of my strength, the strength of my life. I will give my total praise to Him."
Refocusing on God started with slowly opening my tightly clinched hands and heart to Him. With each breath and word sung my heart lightened, my hands relaxed and I gave it all to Him - trusting Him with each day and each moment that He makes.
Are you hurting, afraid and anxious? Are your hands grasped tightly closed, holding in all the pain & fear you feel? Do you want to run and hide in the darkest corner you can find? Oh Sister, refocus your heart & mind on God. When you take that focus off of yourself and instead focus on the blessings He has given you and the Mighty God that He you will see how much He loves you. Open your hands a release the fear & pain to Him.
Continuing to open my hands and praise Him for each gift #1014 - #1030:
Friends who can see me without make up & see me as a beautiful child of God
2 little friends catching up
brothers & sisters having fun on the trampolene
cheers of excitement over a great play
rain to refresh the earth
packing up Christmas to begin a new year
yummy donuts
friends supporting each other
big brother helping his little sister with a game
the alarm that says school has begun
teachers who love & protect my kids as much as they can while they are at school
answered prayers for safety
going through the hard days so I know how to pray for others when they go through the same thing
As I sit at my window having my morning quiet time I realize I have a decision to make. I realize it when I see my two friends sitting outside my window like they did all spring as they sat on the ledge overlooking & protecting the birdnest full of baby birds.
I have my own nest full of eggs unhatched, only not all of the eggs should be hatched. My eggs contain fear, anxiety & worry. Oh it is so easy to be overwhelmed by those emotions. In my fleshly human ways I take those eggs and guard them so that no one, not even God can destroy them. And in my guarding I keep God from working in my life to hatch a beautiful life song like the birds who are singing outside my window.
When I make myself vulnerable to God He will take the eggs filled with fear, anxiety & worry and destroy them. He will nurture the eggs filled with trust, hope & grace so that they will hatch into a beautiful life song.
"Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them."
Psalm 25:12 & 14
Do you have eggs you need to trust to God? What issues do you need to hand over to God for Him to create a beautiful song for your life?
Continuing to count the Joy Dare #731 - #755:
warm, fresh coffee in the morning
clothes left on the floor
blueberry picking with friends
fresh fruit from the farms
summer blueberries, strawberries & blackberries
freezing berries for winter smoothies
fresh local honey
sweet, grilled corn on the cob
the good & bad of being petite
making art from a blank piece of paper & crayons
a stack of books saved for a rainy day & this being the rainy day...
the hope of removing the mask...
good memories of a trip to the beach as a child
having family trips that I can find good memories
learning what it means to be loyal & dedicated
almonds & pistachios
lazy Sunday with all 4 of us napping on the couch
Father's Day lunch made with love
father/son walks
sitting under a fig tree eating ice cream with friends
ice cream overlooking the beach
Daddy/daughter walks on the beach
sunsets over the ocean
sunrises over the marsh
having faith that God will get us through the difficult days but not knowing how
the hope & prayer of something new
Taking the Joy Dare of counting 1000 gifts with Ann at A Holy Experience
